Today Was Once a Prayer

Funny how something can occupy our prayers for years, only to slowly become ordinary part of our everyday routine. 

Once I open my eyes every morning; besides breathing, I thank God for that particular individual by my side. Yes, I used to only keep hoping this kind of day will come eventually; tickling and waking him up, kissing his forehead and be smooched aggressively. Such a gorgeous view. Proceeding to prepare the breakie, lunch box and start to wonder what dinner I should make. Then I fully have the day for myself; either to clean, to enjoy miniature scene stickers, Sudoku, movies, video game or even numerous nap. There are also moments when I think of random stuff I could write in this blog that has been inactive for such a long period of time. And today, I feel the need to remind my future-self to be grateful with this little household. I am looking forward to meeting this human being every single working evening and greet him with loud voice and hug, along with food and kiss. A shower together, inside jokes and daily dose of discussion happen every day while being separated physically from each other on the day.

Mundane weekend awaits each week. And current fulfillment is being a stay at home couple, arranging some puzzles, watching comedy or detective vibes films, or playing video games. When hunger strikes, preparation of food by two pair of hands will be performed voluntarily. Grocery runs once in a while and coffee dates start to feel more comfortably done with board games at home. 

At every night like this, once prayers was told, I can't thank God enough for giving me this never-ending sparkling butterfly feeling; having a marriage that feels like partnership. I can say that serious conflicts are really rare in this household, and I am proud of it. It feels like every debate we initiate turns into perspective-sharing instead of competition, brainstorming instead of quarrelling. And of course, most of the things we debate aren't even directly related to us.

None of these necessarily feel extraordinary on average Monday or Saturday. But there was a version of myself who didn't have them yet. And in the future, there will be things that I pray for this moment and will eventually take place anytime. Ah, until now, I realize that having the privilege of wondering what comes next? is also one of the reasons I stay grateful. I once wished for a non-boring life, and yet the most unpredictable stuff always seems to happen—which, fortunately, we somehow always settle as a team. Things that I thought were simply good and worked well for us turned out to shape and grow me personally too—which I hope will continue for a very, very long time.

Perhaps that's why I want to be more grateful and pay closer attention to my life.
Perhaps gratitude is simply learning to look at ordinary life through the eyes of the person you used to be.
Perhaps gratitude isn't pretending that everything in my life is perfect, but remembering that some of the things that feel ordinary, difficult, or familiar today were once things I looked toward with hope.

Because once upon a time, some of the things I casually call “ordinary” today were once things I asked God for.

Today was once a prayer.